Rub some mud in the man's eye with subversive ANP gear.

One day this sidebar will be used to sell you some bullshit. Capitalism , baby. Feel it !



Is sarcasm your weapon of choice ? Are you a 'whacky photoshop guy' ? Why not join the 'staff' ?

Editorial : Diarrhetoric


RHETORIC rhet·o·ric

noun \ˈre-tə-rik\

1 : the art of speaking or writing effectively: as a : the study of principles and rules of composition formulated by critics of ancient times b : the study of writing or speaking as a means of communication or persuasion
2 a : skill in the effective use of speech b : a type or mode of language or speech; also : insincere or grandiloquent language

DIARRHEA di·ar·rhea

noun \ˌdī-ə-ˈrē-ə\

1 : abnormally frequent intestinal evacuations with more or less fluid stools
2 : excessive flow <verbal diarrhea>

Your brain is a cesspool. Like the water around a factory farm your brain is fed a steady flow of excrement until it is so polluted that nothing can grow inside its dank and stagnant depths.  The chicken-shit Shakespeares of the media campaign to program your useless lobes hide behind the visage of an archaic concept known to scholars of history as "journalism". It is said that this ancient form of communication was once used for informing the public about current events in their communities and the world at large. The word itself invoked a heir of integrity and authenticity. It was the voice of reason in a burgeoning sea of information.

Despite its positive effects on the common man, or more likely because of them, there were many problems with this "journalism". One of which being that it proved to be an effective tool for grooming an intelligent country of informed decision makers. Somewhere along the line someone realized that this was a horrible idea and the dumbing down of America had officially begun.

As television gained a choke-hold on the pulse of the nation we , the captive audience, developed an affinity for our aggressor and gave its brand of journalism a pet name : "the news" . The News was where you got your information about the world. The News was fact. It wouldn't be reported if it wasn't "news" , right ? Journalism's real fatal flaw was its lack of excitement. A political editorial is about as palatable to the average American as the average American is to the rest of the world. Journalism is boring. The News is happenin'.  The News is entertainment , baby.

With a clear channel to the receptive minds of the nation the news began to dazzle us with fancy graphics and intro music. It aimed to entertain and like every entertainer it wanted to be adored over all others. The News had to amp up its game if it wanted to be the sassiest bitch on the big screen. It took its cues from Hollywood and implemented high tech special effects and grandiose audio tracks that promised the viewer an experience with all the depth and intrigue of any of the fabulous selections from the Vin Diesel movie archive.


With leading-man anchors touting absurd monikers like Brock Cliffton or Flint Steele and sultry bimbo sidekicks the news captivated and beguiled us. The information age deepened our masochistic love for slanted, opinionated media and it grew many new and grotesque talking heads. Our lust for finding justification for our own biased viewpoints has created a throng of robots easily manipulated by the engineers of new journalism. Everywhere you turn there is some 'expert' selling you snake oil for your imagined ailments. Talk radio, 24 hour news television stations, blogs, talk shows, the internet etc etc et al ad infinitum . All of these are facets of a system of mind control.

The corporate barons of media have shot down most of the competition at this point and the majority of all media outlets are owned by a very small group. The truth is they are probably all just parts of even larger umbrella organizations, but I digress. I don't want to batter that soggy noodle you call a brain too much. The point of all this is to illustrate that the corporations who control the vast majority of the information you so willingly digest are not in this to enlighten the populace. This is a capitalist world after all and they are out to make some money. A lot of it. Having already donated massive sums of money to the campaigns of some democrat or republican, these corporate whores are ready to mind-fuck you into submission so they can steal your wallet on the way out the door. But it's not just your cash they want, they also want your heart and soul (maybe even literally if I've read my tea leaves correctly).

By preying on the inherent psychological weakness of the commoner the engineers of new journalism have created an arena in which the nobody can feel like a somebody . You are just a google search away from finding a large group of likeminded bigots , narcissists and whacktivists. By naming and categorizing their demographics the fuck-buddies of government and big business have created a media platform to easily insert ideas into the bizzarro-dialectic of America and actively shape the way people think.

One look at any broadcast from a 24 hour news channel will reveal the depth of the assault to your macguyvered neural network. With the entirety of the screen littered with tickers and infographics and candid snapshots of politicians engaging in lewd behavior the media campaign of sloganeering plants its seed into the host and the infection begins to spread.

Meme. No , it doesn't just mean the cool new viral youtube deuchebag of the week. A meme is an idea or behavior that is learned by mimicking from one person to the next. In an age where information is expanding exponentially the idea of a meme has also increased in its potency. With a touch of a button ideas are passed mindlessly from one host to the next infecting everyone they come into contact with. In this way specific messages are diluted into the awareness of the people where they germinate and grow. With an arsenal of buzzwords , sound bytes , and images the cronies of the media empire come out guns blazing. The rapid fire repetition of contrived catch phrases and slogans drills into your skull like its digging for oil. When it finally breaks the surface it creates a pipeline to funnel its crude from one infected brain to the next. There is a reason why things go 'viral'. Like a biker chic with the clap, the social media pundits open their flopping lips to any tom dick or harry that is willing, or often times unwilling, to be the recipient of their tainted spew and thus the meme spreads.

The crafting of public opinion with particular memes is further reinforced through the silver tongued wordplay of the actors in the blockbuster production of the news and its ilk. This is not to say that someone like Glenn Beck is an intelligent auteur for his ability to sway the public but the people who engineered his path to reaching millions are. They know that Americans are too dim to formulate their own opinions (they planned it that way, duh) so, they have provided a means by which they can decide which opinions they want to project onto the mind of the populace

Socialism is the new communism.  

Everyone knows by now that communism is the political system of the devil. If you learned anything in social studies class in elementary school it was that communism was a form of government run by daemons and it ruled over a people who were, at best, troglodytes. These days the cloven hoofed prefer a traditionally less diabolical brand of -ism , socialism. The media can't seem to catch its breath between slandering socialism. It's as if it is some kind of priapismic child molester moving into the neighborhood. Hide your kids !


Despite the fact that numerous facets of American society are already socialist it has become a buzzword used to demonize someone as a liberal intent on tarnishing the American way of life. Indeed, any type of dissent against the current regime is branded as anti-patriotic (at best). The basic modus operandi of this whole convoluted ploy is to rally the puppets around the flag so they will support any policies passed by the charlatans in congress no matter how many rights they strip away in the process.

This shit is getting deep. I need to fit a joke in here somewhere before I pop a vessel.

Between the slander and blackballing and throwing patsy's under the bus there is somehow enough room to keep everyone ducking for cover from a shitstorm of fear mongering that would make Vlad the Impaler type "WTF" as his facebook status update.

Taliban antagonists have been written into the script to keep a steady mood of terror injected into the plot. They come with a song and dance routine that has the audience on the edge of their seats and always begging for more. After all, fear is a form of entertainment. The bogey man in your closet wears a turbin and a hateful scowl. Though this scourge is relatively new to the modern world in a leading role he is seasoned and mature , having grown a full beard by the age of 5.

It's no coincidence that the shows on television are called programs. In a world where money is power you can bet your bottom dollar that the ultra wealthy manipulators behind the scenes who are running this puppet show are utilizing all of their faculties to protect their current status and to acquire more of it. They know they have you backed into a corner and they have provided you with a comfy chair to sit down and relax in while they rewire your neural circuitry. Everything to see , hear or read in this sea of information has a motive , including this.

Unplug yourself from the mainframe.


Come Mr. Taliban tally me banana