Rub some mud in the man's eye with subversive ANP gear.

One day this sidebar will be used to sell you some bullshit. Capitalism , baby. Feel it !



Is sarcasm your weapon of choice ? Are you a 'whacky photoshop guy' ? Why not join the 'staff' ?

The Essential Re-Education F.U.Q.*

*Frequently Unasked Questions

Doctor's Note

It goes without saying that most questions go unanswered but what is worse is that even more questions go unasked. Don't worry. It's not completely your fault that the smoothest thing that ever comes out of your mouth is drool. I , Dr. Kleetus Von Orgasmus , and my colleagues have developed a system to save you from the mind numbing effects of society's moronic mores. These are a few of the questions you should be asking yourself right now.

What's wrong with me ?

There aren't enough ones and zeroes in the entirety of cyberspace to detail a list that would adequately comprise an answer to this query. Suffice to say that , since navigating the womb-luge, your brain has been controlled and abused by opportunistic corporate bogeymen that now lurk in the closet of your subconscious.

What is Re-Education ?

Pronunciation: -"ej-&-'kA-sh&n
Function: noun
1 : training in the use of muscles in new functions or of prosthetic devices in old functions in order to replace or restore lost functions - translation : lifting dumbbells for your saggy mind muscles
2 : training to develop new behaviors (as attitudes or habits) to replace others that are considered undesirable - translation : forgetting how to be a total schmuck

How can I be Re-Educated ?

The sooner you accept the fact that you are an unevolved and entirely primitive creature , like any that slither and crawl or cleanse their private parts with their mouths, the sooner my treatments can help you transcend this state of base beastiality. What are you waiting for ? Embark on an adventure of self discovery. Every journey begins with a single step , but sometimes so does suicide.

What are your qualifications ?

My research into the human condition is without peer. To sum up its greatness in such a limited space as this would be monumentally challenging for even an erudite overman such as myself. With that in mind I shall try to open your tiny monkey brain and poke around until the sparks fly. By utilizing my techniques you too can rise above the fecal hurling knuckle draggers that pull our lot down into the muck of society. What have you got to lose ?

Take the Basic Re-Education Evaluation


Passionately Indifferent

apathetic ( P ) Pronunciation Key (p-thtk) also apathetical (--kl) adj. Feeling or showing a lack of interest or concern; indifferent. Feeling or showing little or no emotion; unresponsive.

nihilism ( P ) Pronunciation Key (n-lzm, n-) n. Philosophy. An extreme form of skepticism that denies all existence. A doctrine holding that all values are baseless and that nothing can be known or communicated. Rejection of all distinctions in moral or religious value and a willingness to repudiate all previous theories of morality or religious belief. The belief that destruction of existing political or social institutions is necessary for future improvement.